


Even That is Unallowed

by XxPorcelainKnightXx



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, gay sports anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2064849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxPorcelainKnightXx/pseuds/XxPorcelainKnightXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another issue comes up with Nagisa and his parents, resulting in him having to actually quit the swim club this time with no room for argument. Nagisa has two options: Stay on the swim team and be disowned from his family, or stay with his family but lose his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Even That is Unallowed

**Author's Note:**

> For Catherine

The conversation Nagisa had with his parents was supported by his friends. He knew that if he had been alone, it would have simply been one-sided. That’s how they always were. He basically had no say in how the conversation went. Anything he said was rejected or unheard. He knew. He knew… So to have all of his friends as well as a teacher accompany him was a blessing and the only way he’d win the argument.

Even still, his parents still basically got what they wanted. They only threatened to take something he loved away from him because he wouldn’t simply do what they asked of him in the first place. It was their way or no way. He knew that… It had always been that way.  
It was why he got so upset when Rei accused him of giving up. He hadn’t given up! But this wasn’t something… If your effort isn’t acknowledged, if it is wasted and unrecognized, why give it in the first place? It is simply easier to concede… To give in. To put in that much effort to not gain anything all of the time is tiresome… It’s draining and breaks you.

…So he cried. He was so lucky that he had so many voices to assist him, so many validating, considerate voices. The best was Rei- he offered to personally help Nagisa and make sure he’s grades were sufficient.  He was on the team, so it would also be easy for him to do so. He also had superb grades and was a massive bookworm, making him all the more a perfect candidate for him to tutor Nagisa if his grades were slipping. And best of all, he was hard on him when Nagisa needed it. However, he listened to him when he spoke. He wasn’t like his parents…

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The sentence that was spoke rung in his ears and increased the weight on his chest. It was like his ribs were constricting and the world was spinning, slowly but surely becoming uniform in a void black. Again… They were telling him this again. His grades were fine…! They were fine…! So this wasn’t… “That’s not fair!” He yelled in retort, his heart welling and preparing for the shatter. He was still precariously holding it between his fracturing ribcage. “That’s the end of the discussion, Nagisa. You are not allowed on the swim team- and don’t you _dare_ try to run away again.”

If he did, his options were as follows: either be transferred, or be disowned. Nagisa was shaking, trying to keep from crying. “You can’t… You can’t do that…! My team needs me!” His father wouldn’t have any of it and pointed a harsh finger towards his room. “NO!” Now, Nagisa’s parents never hit him. However, sometimes he wish they would. It would make the burning feeling simmer down perhaps… If he could hit them back, scream and yell. If he were to get loud, they would label him “unreasonable”.

“…Please…” He pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please don’t do this…” They refuted him, his father’s stone hand in the direction of his room. He couldn’t breathe, his jaw jittering and clenching closed while his eyes welled up. “…Please… That’s not fair… We can pretend I never said it and you’ll never hear another thing about it, please…” He begged, regretting ever trusting the thought that parents like his would _understand_.

His father didn’t waver and his mother was still… Disappointed in his life choices. “…Please…” He begged again, his voice barely making sound. Again… He was ignored. Again… He was denied. Again… He was rebuked.  Everything went gray and Nagisa forcefully carried himself up to his room, feeling every single pound, every single limb, every single kilogram, every single cell on his body as he forced it to move. This wasn’t… How could people be like this? Weren’t they supposed to love and support him? Whatever this was, it was neither… It was ineffable. He didn’t understand what their goal was for him- it was simply breaking him as a human…

Nagisa sat on his bed, feeling so empty that the tears didn’t come, just barely sitting on his lashes and in his lids. They wouldn’t come. They were there, but wouldn’t come… He was in shock, disbelief, rendered unable to react.

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He didn’t want to go to school. He didn’t want to be here… He wanted to curl up into a ball and die. He felt dead… He… He couldn’t tell his teammates. He couldn’t. They’d ask why again… He couldn’t tell them that he had that conversation with his parents… They’d look at him funny too… They’d… They’d… And he couldn’t run away again or he’d never see his friends again! …Or they’d disown him… He loved his parents… He did. They were cruel but they were his _parents_. It was why he was so floored when they couldn’t simply accept that he was their _son_ , regardless of his choices… So why had this happened…? Over one little… One…

“…un… gisa-kun… Nagisa-kun!” Nagisa jumped, shocked out of his skin so terribly he physically jumped. “R-Rei-chan!” He yelled, completely flustered after being dragged from deep in his head. Oh no… He wasn’t ready to face them yet- any of them…! The megane sighed, crossing his arms. “I’ve been calling to you for a while now- is everything alright?” Nagisa opened his mouth to reply… And within that single instant, several thoughts flashed through his head.

Pretend to be happy- it was what he always did… Why should he? He’d never get to swim with Rei or anyone else ever again… Tell him the truth- he wanted to… He would get asked why regardless since he had to leave- they’d want to know… Rei should be the first to know out of all of them for various reasons… “I…” He still didn’t know what he wanted to tell him… In a sudden rush of emotions and scrambled thoughts, he felt the tears that refused to come yesterday suddenly assail him. Why now? It wasn’t fair… This wasn’t fair…

He clung to the front of his shirt, completely defeated. He needed… To make a choice. His family or his friends… That was basically the option they gave him. That alone came with its own set of problems… Where would he live? What would he do? How would he feed himself? If he stayed somewhere, would he owe housework or rent money…? He’d never get to see his parents again… He’d never get to see _any_ of his family again for the rest of his life because of one decision- and if he decided he wanted to take it back, he’d never get to see any of his friends ever again...

“…I just… Don’t feel well… Can you take me to the nurse…?” He asked, keeping his head down so Rei couldn’t see the tears forming. Rei stared down at him for a moment, believing without a shadow of a doubt that something was wrong. He had never seen Nagisa sick, so he couldn’t exactly doubt him and know for a fact it was something else… So he escorted him through the halls. Nagisa walked straight to the nurse’s bathroom and shut the door behind him. He made fake puking noises, covering his mouth in between while sobbing. Go away, go away, go away…

Just leave him here to cry… But he knew Rei wouldn’t do that. He’d stick with him and ask him what was wrong or if he needed anything or if he wanted him to escort him home or… Or… Stupid Rei… Stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid, stupid, stupid, **stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID REI!!!**_

…He was hysterical for about a good, solid ten minutes before he finally calmed himself down, that taking another seven or so. When he left the bathroom, Rei was standing there, waiting for him. “Nagisa-kun…!” Nagisa looked away from him, not wanting him to see his bloodshot eyes. This wasn’t fair… He’d lose people he loved either way… But sometimes he wondered if he loved his parents out of obligation given who they were to him… “I think I just need to lay down for a bit… You can go back to class, sorry for worrying you… I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to practice today if I still feel like this later… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. Just rest- I’d much rather not have you come to practice and get better than have you be there and have it become worse.” He said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “If you need anything, please feel free to call me at any time, even if I’m in class.” He offered. Nagisa looked up at him for a moment, eyes unfocused and unsteady, eventually finding their way back to the ground. He nodded and Rei stayed until he was in one of the pathetic beds in the nurse’s office.

“If you’re not back by lunch, I’ll come to check on you.” He said before leaving. He knew something was wrong- his intuition had told him, but he was never much to trust it over logic. However, with Nagisa he had learned to trust his intuition first and _find_ the logic for it later. He had been crying… Something was wrong. For now, he would silently support him with whatever he needed. However, if his behavior persisted, he’d ask him about it.

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“You don’t… Need me to come over today?” Nagisa shook his head. “…No. All of my grades are fine, so… It’s okay.” He was avoiding looking at him… How odd. Nagisa was always one for direct eye contact- even uncomfortably so. He was even kept to himself, his hands pressed behind his back. He seemed so small… Was he always really this small without his bodacious actions and constant talking at maximum volume? Still… Something kept nagging at Rei. “I… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Nagisa gave a brief wave before leaving.

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“He’s not coming again today?” Makoto asked, confused. This was the fourth time in a row now he hadn’t come to practice. “He’s well enough to come to school… He can’t even sit in during practice?” He asked, worried in general about him. Rei shook his head, unsure of how to answer for their absent member. “Apparently so… But there _does_ seem to be something wrong… I don’t believe he’s lying about that… He hasn’t seemed like himself lately.” Makoto hummed to himself, trying to remember anything that could have been of note for Nagisa’s behavior, but...

“…Do you think he had another fight with his parents?” Haru asked, gaining their attention. “Now that you mention it… How he’s acting is pretty similar. He might have. We should ask him tomorrow. At least he hasn’t run away like last time.” Makoto added. True- he was facing his problems this time, if not alone… Still. Something about this didn’t sit well with Rei… Not at all.

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“Something… Wrong?” Nagisa asked, tipping his head. “Ah, yeah, sorry! Actually I’ve kind of had this stomach ache for a while now and it kinda just bugs me at random times. I’d hate to puke in the pool while swimming or something!” He said, a hand on his stomach and one scratching at the back of his head. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Every time he saw one of his friends, he felt the lariats start to form inside of him. He hurt… He didn’t want to leave them, so he lied… He was still so undecided… He wanted to be with them. At least if he listened to his parents, they wouldn’t transfer him… But… They basically won again…

He had no say in the argument. It was either their option or none at all. And… It was painful. So terribly painful that it physically pained him every time he saw Rei, Makoto, Haru, or Gou. “If that’s the case, why aren’t you home resting!” Rei lectured. “Ahaha… Sorry…! It’s been kind of on and off, so… My parents didn’t want me to miss school if I could help it. I mean I haven’t actually puked yet, but sometimes I feel like I’m really gonna!”

Makoto’s expression was graced with worry, Haru’s seeming mostly neutral but his brow _was_ furrowed a bit, Gou sighing, and Rei’s a kind of disappointment for Nagisa’s lack of consideration for his own health. He would need to do some research later on things Nagisa should eat or do to get better soon. “Well if that’s all, you should have said so sooner! Poor Rei was worried out of his skin!” He was worrying them again? He needed to act better… To pretend… He needed… He needed to quit the swim club of his “own” violation. Then they’d never suspect his parents, then he’d never have to talk with them about why he had to quit.

…That was what he decided on. It would be easier to lie than tell the truth…

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“…I have an announcement to make…” Nagisa said, not bothering to change for practice. Makoto looked up from his shirt that he had around his arms, already changing for practice. “Yeah, Nagisa? What is it?” Nagisa took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, doing so just for the sake of feeling his chest swell again. “…I’m quitting the swim team.”

The outcries were instantaneous from everyone. “…Let me finish…!” They stopped, Nagisa clenching his fists, terrified of the words that already left his mouth. “I promise I’ll find someone else to join the team so you can all still do the relay- I won’t just leave you guys in the cold like that.”

“But… Nagisa-kun… _Why_?” Rei asked, completely taken aback. And to think- they thought _he_ was going to be the one to leave them! “I’m just having some… family problems right now and I’d much rather focus on that and being here right now… It’s too strenuous… I’m sorry…” Rei and Gou objected while Haru was too shocked to say anything- Makoto held out a hand to stop them. “…I understand. You take your time with whatever it is you’re dealing with and then you come back to us.” He ruffled his hair gently and his kindness caused Nagisa to start crying again.

They were always so kind to him… How could he… How could he basically abandon them like this? It wasn’t fair… This wasn’t fair…! Nagisa let out a loud, hysterical cry. Makoto hugged him and continued stroking his hair like a pet. “It’s alright, Nagisa…” He felt Gou gently rub his back, Rei couch down a bit and ask him if he wanted to talk, and even Haru come up with a worried expression on his face.

He was… Leaving them. He wouldn’t _get_ to come back… What would he even say to Rei next year? Could he lie to him for that long? He didn’t want to do this anymore… He just wanted to swim with his friends… Everything hurt so much… _Especially_ their kindness towards him right now.

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“Nagisa-kun, do you want me to come over today? I saw your grade on that last test… It dropped a bit so-“  
“It’s fine…! It’s still passing, so they won’t mind.” He quickly retorted to Rei. It was quicker than he meant it to be, but… Rei furrowed his eyebrows. “…Does it dropping have anything to do with the problem at home?” He asked quietly, his voice barely audible. Nagisa quickly nodded and got up from his seat, taking all of his things and heading home. “…Good luck at practice.” He said over his shoulder in the doorway, not able to look at him.

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“…I’m sorry, I haven’t been able to find anyone to replace me yet…” Nagisa said, deeply bowing to Makoto. “Ah- that’s okay. You just worry about sorting everything else out and we’ll just get you back.” He said with a smile. That’s right… They still thought they’d get him back… They still thought… “…I’m sorry…”

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“…It’s not just me right? He seems kind of… Upset all of the time?” Makoto asked, looking at Nagisa from afar with Haru and Rei as he walked home. Haru and Rei nodded. “…Do you think it has to do with the problem he mentioned?” Rei asked, Haru still watching him leave along with everyone else who didn’t have any after school activities. “It might… I think we should try to cheer him up tomorrow. Gou- do you have any ideas?” Gou lit up, completely grateful to have been the one given the task to pick up their cute little penguin. “Not yet, but I will before the end of practice!”

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“For… Me?” Nagisa asked, looking down at the present. They all nodded enthusiastically. They had practically kidnapped him late on a weekend, telling him it was a mandatory swim club meeting. They said he still needed to go even though he wasn’t currently “in the club”. He still went since they didn’t know he wasn’t coming back… They had some fireworks and tons of sweets for him at a high location where you could see the stars clearly.

Their kindness… It hurt. So he cried. They gently rubbed his back and told him everything would get better… And Nagisa realized that _this_ was how a family should make you feel. They had no idea what was going on and yet they still worried and wanted to make sure he was alright. They wanted to make him happy regardless of whatever had happened. He wanted to be with them for as long as possible, so there was no way… No way he could tell them what had happened with his parents. He loved them too much to tell them… So he cried, then ate so many sweets his stomach hurt, and set off a ton of fireworks, laughing and having a blast with his friends.

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“…Another… Tutor?” Rei asked, completely confused. Nagisa’s mother nodded. “He didn’t tell you? We got him another one.” She reiterated, Rei being completely confused. He had come over to study with Nagisa- just for the sake of keeping him company when he had been told this by his mother at the door. “…I don’t understand. Was there something wrong with how I was tutoring him?” He asked, wanting to find out what he had done wrong so he could correct it. He noticed Nagisa behind his mother in the house, so he called to him.

Nagisa met his eyes, they quickly filled with terror and he forced himself to look away. Rei didn’t understand. “…I’m sorry, Nagisa needs to get back to studying now.” His mother said quickly, using the distraction to her advantage to shut the door on Rei. What… What just happened…? Nagisa had another tutor? Why? He understood he was having issues at home again but… Why replace him? It was optimal that he be his tutor! Why?! He didn’t understand…!

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Nagisa gritted his teeth, yelling back “I told you, it’s a personal problem, now drop it!” He attracted the attention of some others around them. Nagisa jumped a bit, shrinking into himself when he realized this. “But I don’t understand… We’re friends aren’t we? Do you not trust me with whatever it is that’s going on in your house right now? Or is this person who’s tutoring you a relative?” That he could understand- but right now he was being shut out completely. “Stop playing that “do you not trust me” card! It’s getting old and offensive! I said it was a personal problem, so drop it Rei…!” He forced his chair back, it groaning against the floor in protest while Nagisa grabbed his things and left the room. He didn’t understand…

He also noticed Nagisa didn’t add “-chan” to his name… Something was seriously wrong.

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“…I feel like he’s avoiding us. He dropped the club, replaced you as a tutor, and now that we’re talking about this, we barely see him. I feel like he does that on purpose- he hardly eats lunch with us anymore…” Makoto put his hand to his chin, furrowing his brow, deep in thought. “He keeps saying it’s a problem at home but… I feel like there’s more to it than that.” Haru nodded in agreement. “We should all try to sit down together and get him to talk to us- it worked last time.” True. So they all agreed that’s what they would do. They decided on Haru’s house.

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“…I can’t. I need to study for a test.” Rei has asked him to come. It was easiest since they shared so many classes together. “…Nagisa-kun, plea-“  
“I _can’t_.”  
He couldn’t face them as he was right now… He was too embarrassed about lying and the topic of argument with his parents still… So he couldn’t.

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“…Is Nagisa-kun home?”  
“…Yes? Can I help you?” His father asked, a bit apprehensive. Why? It’s not like he didn’t know they were friends… “I need to speak with him- it’s urgent.” His father looked at him for a moment, debating the weight of the supposed “urgency” before calling Nagisa down. “Yes?” His father stood aside. “He’d like to speak with you.” Nagisa felt everything in his chest drop down to his feet and get caught in his stomach a good majority of the way down. His father left the doorway, going back inside of the house. “R-Rei-chan… Look if it’s about not going to Haru’s hous-“

“Nagisa-kun, it’s not just that…! Something is _wrong_ with you and we’re _worried_!” Nagisa felt even worse. He didn’t want them to worry… He didn’t want to cause his friends any pain… This wasn’t what he wanted…! “…N-Nothing’s wrong… I told you, I’m just having some problems I need to deal with here, so- ah…! Rei-chan!” Nagisa yelled, Rei dragging him by his arm out of the house. “I won’t have it! You keep saying that and trying to deal with whatever it is on your own but…! I won’t allow you to do that anymore! Clearly this burden isn’t meant for you to handle on your own!” He lectured, refusing to let him go. He had no idea where he was taking him- hell, Nagisa didn’t even have any shoes on.

“Rei-chan! Let me go!” Nagisa objected, attempting to tug his wrist back and push Rei’s hand off of him. Rei decided he’d take him to Haru’s- he wouldn’t mind if he showed up unannounced with Nagisa. He was worried too after all… So he did just that. He dragged him all the way to Haru’s, Nagisa eventually stopped trying to pull away. He recognized the streets and knew where he was being taken. He could run when he let him go at Haru’s- wait… Why… Why was he running from Rei? From Haru? From his friends…? This wasn’t right… What… What happened?

Rei knocked furiously on Haru’s door, calling for him. “Haruka-sempai! Open up! I have Nagisa-kun with me and we need to talk!” Given a few more poundings, the door was opened and Haru was on the phone. He pointed inside the house, and Rei dragged Nagisa with him inside. “Ah- ow, Rei-chan!” When Haru was done, he came into the room he had pointed Rei and Nagisa into. “…Makoto is coming over soon, too. We should wait for him. …I’ll get us something to drink.” He left the room and went into the kitchen, trying his best to relieve the tension that had gotten dragged into his house the only way he knew how- by doing what they usually did. He pulled out some fruit and asked if barely tea was alright.

Rei nodded, seeming exasperated and Nagisa didn’t reply. Rei hadn’t let him go yet… He was still latched onto his wrist, refusing to even give him a moment of escape. Even if he were to let him go, he had still been on the track team and could catch him easily… So honestly there was really no need. But it was more of a statement than anything. He wouldn’t let Nagisa run away again- he was good for that in one way or another. He adored him- really, he did. However he disliked this part of him quite a lot.

Makoto arrived shortly after the tea was done, a flustered mess from running over so suddenly. “I’m here…!” He announced, breathless. He quickly adjusted himself, then sat with everyone else. “…Nagisa…” There was a thick tension between them all, no one sure how to start. “…Start by telling us what exactly happened.” Rei demanded, finally letting go and crossing his arms. “…It’s a personal family problem… I can’t.”

“ _Nagisa-kun_.” Nagisa practically jumped a mile when his name was called so sternly. “…Tell us what happened.” He said again, refusing to take no for an answer. “…I can’t…” He mumbled again, his grip tightening on his pants. Before Rei could speak again, Makoto gave it a shot. “Listen, Nagisa… We all know whatever it is has been really hard on you. You don’t seem like your usual self at all and you’ve kind of been avoiding us… We just want to help you out in any way we can, so please let us in. Keeping it all inside is only going to hurt you more.”

“What if it doesn’t…?!” Nagisa yelled, the anger and resentment and all of the feelings he could never relay to his parents during an argument showing. “What if I tell you and it only makes it worse- makes you hate me like my parents do?!” They were all taken aback. “…Nagisa, I’m sure whatever it is would never make your parents _hate_ you.”

“They do…! They do! They try to say that it’s “for the best” or what they think is “right” for me, but it’s not! …It _hurts_!!! They won’t even give me a chance…! They just dismiss it and tell me I’m wrong and…! And…!” Nagisa used his arm to wipe furious tears that were falling into his lap. Makoto gently rubbed his back. “Did you try talking with them? I’m sure if you do, like last time it-“

“Shut up, Rei!” Nagisa screamed, completely fed up. “You don’t _know them_! You don’t _know me_!!! If I tell you, you’ll all hate me or think I’m weird! And even if you don’t, that’s not going to change the fact that I can never swim with any of you again!!!”  
“…Nagisa… You can’t…” Haru didn’t get to finish- _couldn’t_ finish. Nagisa realized what he said and put his hand over his mouth. He let his other hand join it and they slid to his ears. He just wanted everything to go away… He didn’t want this to happen. “Rei-chan’s never allowed over again either… They think it’s mostly your fault anyways…!” He was just letting it all fall out; not being on the team was the brick that held the dam together.

“My fault?” Rei asked, completely astonished by the statement. “I don’t understand… Nagisa-kun, if you won’t talk to them, then at least talk to us- don’t leave us in the dark anymore. If you honestly feel like they won’t listen… Have confidence that _we_ will.” He spoke while removing his hands from his ears. “…Please. We’re worried about you… We just want to make sure everything is alright- because if there’s anything we can do to help you, anything at all, we’ll do it in a heartbeat!” Makoto nodded so fast he probably gave himself a headache. “So please… Won’t you talk to us?” Makoto asked, gently placing a hand on his back.

Nagisa scoffed, eyes trained on the wet spots on his pants from his tears. He was quiet for a long while, Makoto’s large hand on his back and Rei’s long fingers wrapped around his own. “…I can still hear their voices clear as the day they said it to me... My mom… had made some joke about me having a girlfriend or something…”

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“Well then after that you’d have a _wonderful_ girlfriend!” His mother said with a wide smile on her face. “Ahaha! Ah, come on mom! Girls can be so boring- boys would be better~!” Nagisa said with a chuckle and a raise of his eyebrows. “…Excuse me?” His mother said, the mood instantly dropping. Nagisa fumbled. “Ah… It was a joke!”

“…A joke?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “Y-Yeah…” Nagisa stuttered, her gaze terrifying him. “…Well that didn’t _sound_ like a joke. It sounded like an implication that you could attempt to pass off as a joke.” He was completely taken aback by how much she was reading into his one little comment. “Wha- no!”

“It’s that swim club isn’t it- being in a setting like that… It’s corrupting you, isn’t it?” A setting like that? Did she mean everyone being in swimsuits all of the time? Seriously? She thought he was gay because of something like that? “What?! Are you kidding me, no!”

“Oh I should have realized… I’ve let you be around things like that since you were little! Oh this is all my fault…! And to think I was letting you study _alone_ with someone you’ve seen like that…!” She buried her face in her hands, horrified at her parenting job. “Wha… M-Mom… It was a joke… Really…! …Mom? Mom please don’t cry… Please?” Nagisa got up from where he was sitting to comfort her. “…You need to quit the swim team.” She said suddenly. “WHAT?!” Nagisa screamed, removing all traces of himself from her person. “Nagisa, it’s _corrupting_ you!” She retorted, her eyes full of tears for her poor child! “Mom it was a joke! I was kidding! Why are you trying to blame this on me swimming?!”

“ _Don’t_ raise your voice at your mother.” His father interjected, being mostly silent though the entire ordeal. “But I-“  
“Do. _Not_.” He said again, his voice stern in his position on the matter. Nagisa didn’t utter another word. “You’ll quit tomorrow.” The sentence that was spoke rung in his ears and increased the weight on his chest. It was like his ribs were constricting and the world was spinning, slowly but surely becoming uniform in a void black. Again… They were telling him this again. His grades were fine…! They were fine…! So this wasn’t… “That’s not fair!”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Nagisa laughed, pitifully. “…They hate me… They threatened to have me transferred or disowned if I tried anything like last time… They didn’t want Rei to tutor me anymore because they thought…” He buried his face ins his hands, trying not to cry again.”…Well are you?” Haru asked bluntly. “Haru!” Makoto lectured, his face screaming that huis current question just had _impeccable_ timing. “…What?” Nagisa looked up from his hands. “Are you into boys?” Nagisa’s voice broke and refused to let out any words, his face flushed. “…I… I don’t know…” He mumbled. “…So there’s a possibility you are.”

“ _Haru_!” Makoto yelled, not wanting him to continue. Nagisa had been through enough as it was. “…It doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t. You’re still our friend and I’ve never a day in my life felt like you’d try to do something to make us uncomfortable, even if you did like one of us.” Haru didn’t care. Nagisa could want to marry a rock for all he cared- they were still friends and nothing would change that. “If you still want to swim that badly because you want to be with us or if you still want to be with your family so you can’t anymore, I fully support whatever decision you decided to make.”

“…Haru...” Makoto wasn’t used to this side of him much. “…Haru-chan…” Nagisa felt his entire body shake and his eyes well up with tears again. He had been crying so much lately… He was so tired of crying… But this... This was a different kind of cry. It wasn’t draining; it was cleansing. He tackled him from across the table. “…Haru-chan!” Haru was forced backwards, a grunt escaping him with all of the air in his lungs accompanying it. He looked over at the yellow fluff of emotion that was their friend and sighed, gently patting his head. Makoto sighed, grateful the matter was mostly resolved aside from Nagisa’s decision, and he wasn’t going to pressure him to make that choice today, or even tomorrow. …Hopefully soon, however. They _did_ need him for relays still since a replacement hadn’t been found.

He could make it whenever he wanted. Rei was just appreciative in general that Nagisa didn’t have to bear the burden alone anymore. Honestly, the thought of Nagisa liking a boy didn’t really bother him as much as he thought it would. Maybe it was just his personality or him used to seeing Nagisa cling to everyone on the team but… It didn’t bother him. If Nagisa wanted to date someone the same gender as him, he wouldn’t mind. His personality wouldn’t change, so why should his opinion of him?

Makoto gently pried Nagisa off of Haru. Nagisa took to instead clinging to him and crying. Makoto didn’t mind it and sighed, gently petting his hair the same as Haru had before. “No more tears, okay? You’ve been crying enough to fill the entire pool.” He joked, flashing him a smile. “…I wanna swim with Mako-chan and Haru-chan and Rei-chan!” He sobbed. Makoto realized he wasn’t going to stop crying anytime soon. He laughed a little, still patting his head. “Okay.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“…So what are you going to do about your parents?” Rei asked him as they walked back, Nagisa still missing shoes and the hour a bit late now. “…I don’t know. I really honestly hope they don’t disown me, but if they do I hope they’ll eventually start talking to me again. I do love them –they’re my family after all. If I can, I want them to be able to accept me for whatever it is that I am. And if they can’t… I’m lucky enough to have another family that will.” Nagisa said with a warm smile, looking down at his dirtied socks.

…Rei was proud of him. He really was. It must be hard to live somewhere like that and smile as often as he did. Not only that, but he constantly made others smile as well. He was truly a magnificently beautiful person. Even now, he felt himself smiling at Nagisa, admiring his strength and beauty and perseverance. He opened his mouth to tell him how much he really admired him, but Nagisa got to it first. “Ah- Rei-chan, look! The store’s still open! We should go buy celebratory snacks!” He quickly ran to the door of the shop, Rei remembering his lack of shoes.

“Ah- Nagisa-kun you’re not allowed in without- _Nagisa-kun_!!!”  
“Yehaaaay! We should get ice cream and cake and…”  
“I bet you don’t even have your wallet since I dragged you out of the house! Who do you think is going to pay for all of that?!”  
“Ah, Rei-chaaaaan! Don’t be such a spoil sport! Oh look they have this- oh, and these! And…”  
Rei sighed… But would buy him all of his sweets anyways. He adored him regardless of flaws after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …Wow the worst word I used in this fic was “hell”? Go me!  
> So episode 5 really reminded me of a friend, so I dedicated it to her.  
> So there won't be any H stuff, but maybe I'll write a separate one shot for that...


	2. The Expense of Living

Nagisa rang the doorbell- then he rang it again. And another time for good measure. Oh, footsteps! He did it again. Rei whipped open his door, wanting Nagisa to stop the attack on his doorbell. He was the only person he knew who would do that, so it was obvious who was there. “Please stop that, I said I was coming! Did you not hear me?” Nagisa flashed him a smile. “I know, I just wanted to keep pushing it!” Rei sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

It was in that moment of pause did he realize something. “…Nagisa-kun…” Nagisa laughed and scratched the back of his head. “Ahe~ Hey, Rei-chan, can I stay with you? They kicked me out.” He said although he had admitted to getting scolded for eating cake before dinner. “They… They really kicked you out?” Nagisa picked up his bags and forced them into Rei’s hands, piling others on top while Rei yelled in protest. He picked up the one or two that were left and carried those in himself. “Uh-huh. So can I sleep on your floor? I won’t be loud, I prooomise~!” Rei highly doubted that given his natural behavior, but…  He sighed, setting all of Nagisa’s things down in a corner of his house. He’d prefer to have Nagisa loud and rambunctious than quiet and upset.

“I’d have to clean up a bit, but I don’t mind. How long do you plan to stay?” He asked, already sorting his pile of luggage. Nagisa had quickly made himself at home, his shoes already off and the two bags he had taken in were thrown all over his couch. In spite of the small mess just made, there wasn’t really much to clean up… At least to anyone else. “Haaaa? Rei-chan isn’t gonna let me live with him forever?” He asked, head tipped back over his couch to whine at him, his arms slung across it as well. Rei shut his door and sat next to him. “…Nagisa-kun…” Rei’s brow’s knitted together as he was flushed with pity for his friend.

“…What’s that look for? If you really don’t want me here I can ask Haru-chan or Mako-chan. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” He mused, looking up at his ceiling. “No, I don’t mind it’s just… They really…?” Nagisa smiled, but it was lavished in pain. “…My sisters said they’d still talk to me… But mom and dad… They’re really mad at me right now… Whatever I left at the house is going to either be given away or sold, so I tried to take as much of the important stuff as I could. My oldest sis took one bag I couldn’t carry back to her house for me so mom and dad wouldn’t trash it… You should have seen me on the train- I looked ridiculous!” He said, trying to end the conversation on a bright note, but he still seemed to be in pain. Rei looked over at Nagisa’s bags, all of his carefully packed belongings with nowhere to put them… They really did kick him out…

Still… He should try to find him an apartment and a decent job or something. A lot of high schoolers move out from their parents- Rei was one of them after all. But even then, he was still involved with his parents; his mother came over to make sure everything was clean and his grades were still priority, his father made sure he had enough money for bills… But until he could help Nagisa with that, he didn’t mind if he fee-loaded… Mostly. …He’d have to constantly yell at him to clean up his own mess all the time, but that was fine. He sighed patting Nagisa’s head. “…Come on, let’s eat something.” Nagisa lit up at the mention of food. “Okay!”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Within a few hours, Nagisa had completely made himself at home, the contents of his bags strewn around Rei’s place. Rei was trying not to let it bother him… Really… Really… Tryi- “Nagisa-kun please pick up your clothes and for the love of god what is that atrocious thing in the middle of the room- did you bring a _pet_ into my apartment by the way?” Nagisa picked up the salamander’s small cage off of Rei’s desk. “Aw, Rei-chan! Don’t be like that! Sasa-chan is part of our family!”

“Our”… He was already… Rei walked listlessly over to his desk, sat down at it and instantly started writing down a list. Nagisa crowded over his shoulder to inspect what he was writing, the salamander cage still in his hand. Rei got up and plastered the perfectly written note on the fridge, hanging it with a magnet. He figured the fridge was the best place to put it considering Nagisa.

  1.        You will pick up after yourself.
  2.        If I find your salamander anywhere but in its cage or in your hands, you’re dead.
  3.        You will do your own laundry (If you need assistance, ask me. Don’t expect me to do it for you).
  4.        You will not touch my things without asking for permission.
  5.        You will not put any of your things on my desk without my permission.
  6.        If you eat anything, eat it in the kitchen and clean up the mess.
  7.        If you eat the last of something or something that was mine, it is your responsibility to replace it. I will do the same. (That does not mean leave just enough so you don’t have to buy a replacement.)
  8.        You will understand the concept of a “budget” so you do not eat me out of house and home.
  9.        You will wash your own dishes or wash all of them for an entire week as punishment.
  10.    You will get a job if you are going to stay here.
  11.    If you do not have a job, it is because you are completely dedicated to your school work (meaning flawless grades) without exception.
  12.    If you’re working on any kind of “project”, keep it in a minimalized location, not throughout my entire apartment.
  13.    If you want to have someone over, you must ask my permission first.
  14.    If you are inviting someone over and have my permission, the house must be clean before they enter and clean upon their exit.
  15.    If you borrow my books, they need to be **_EXACTLY_** as they were when you put them back. They are very important to me.
  16.    You may use my computer so long as you ask me and so long as I’m not already using it. It is my computer, therefore I have priority usage. The only time you have priority usage is if I’m using it for recreational purposes and you need it for school work.
  17.    If I find anything lewd or the like on my computer, you’re dead.
  18.    I will put up a white board next to this in case either of us have an announcement or event or even if we simply need a reminder for something and cannot tell the other right away.
  19.    I will set up a calendar for any event dates either of us have.
  20.    This list can and will be updated when and if necessary.



I look forward to living with you for a while.

Nagisa felt a wide smile tug at his mouth at the little memo at the end of the list. Still, telling him not to have porn on his computer was kind of funny- he couldn’t wait to show the list to Makoto and Haru when he dragged them over. Still, he had a few complaints about a few things, but for the most part he was happy Rei was so quick to let him stay with him. “Rei-chan~!” Nagisa jumped on him, a wide smile on his face. “I’ll be a good roommate, I promise!” Rei sighed while Nagisa pressed their cheeks together so hard that if he were to move even an inch he was sure to give both of them Indian burns.  
“You better be…” His mind was already running along to sleeping arrangements… Did Nagisa have a bed at home or a futon? If he didn’t, they’d have to buy him one… Maybe he could find another couch similar to the one he already owned, only have it be a pullout… He’d hate to have him sleep on just the couch- that would be so uncomfortable…

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Huh? Nagisa’s living with you?” Makoto reiterated, completely shocked. Even Haru’s eyes were a bit wide at the news. So they really did kick him out… Wow. Makoto didn’t know parents could even do something like that to their own child- he was lucky. Nagisa nodded. “Yup! Rei-chan even put this list of things I’m not supposed to do on the fridge!”

“It’s not a list of things you can’t do, it’s just a list of house rules.” Rei reminded, pressing his glasses back onto his face. “Oh, wow… Well, if you ever need a break, feel free to send him my way.” Makoto offered with a laugh. “Jeeze! That was mean!” Nagisa yelled, his face puffing up like a chipmunk while Makoto laughed at him. Haru just kept quietly observing him, looking for any difference in how he was acting to make sure he was really alright.

“Well how long is he going to be staying with you?” Gou asked. “I’m not too particularly worried about it right now. So long as he’s doing his very best in school, I won’t kick him out or anything. If he’s going to slack, he may as well put all of that energy into getting a job and saving up for his own place.”

“Rei-chaaaaannn…!” Nagisa wined, pressing his head into Rei’s arm and rubbing it against him. Honestly, Rei had expected him to want to go get a job since it meant he wouldn’t have to study as much… But Nagisa did the exact opposite. He wasn’t really someone you could pin down so easily. However, to Nagisa, it was simply a reason to study. If he got good grades, he could stay with Rei. It was motivation and reason, unlike before. Before, he didn’t really have one. “However, at least by the time we graduate, I hope you’ll go get a job, regardless if you attend a university or not.”

Rei didn’t want to push anything onto Nagisa. If he went to a college, good for him. He’d help him with whatever he could. He just didn’t want Nagisa to become a NEET, so if he didn’t go he at least wanted him to have a job. “I’m gonna have so many jobs I’m gonna be a millionaire! We’re gonna be rich and live in one of those high-rise apartments!” Gou laughed at him. “So you’d take Rei with you?” She asked, noticing the “we”. Nagisa nodded furiously while still clinging to Rei.

“Of course! And Mako-chan and Haru-chan could live in another one and you and Rin-chan could also have your own- know what? I’ll just buy the whole building and we can all live in it together! And it can have a pool on every floor for Haru-chan! And a huge library for Rei-chan, and for Mako-chan it’ll ha- actually, you know what? I’ll just hire someone to build us our own high-rise apartment building! Everyone can put in something in it! Oh my gosh we should add a **_zoo_**!” Nagisa decided, completely in love with the idea of keeping all of his friends close by for forever and giving them things that made them happy.

Makoto smiled warmly, glad Nagisa had such wonderful ideas for the future. Yes he could be a bit immature, but basically all he really was saying he wanted was to still be close to everyone when they were older. Even Haru seemed enticed by the idea of an apartment building having a pool on every floor- regardless of if a seal or something tried to join him. Rei sighed and started lecturing him on how hard and illogical that would be, but Gou just lectured him in turn not to crush his dreams. She would totally want to live there! All of her favorite boys and their muscles… Yes. She would be just fine. Even if rent was one million a month for something so exotically perfect, she’d manage something!

Nagisa kept going on, even breaking out a notebook to doodle what their apartment would look like and the floor plans and where should the zoo go? Should it be actually off to the side a bit- like a garage? Or should it be on the bottom and their apartments at the top? The concept of walking through a zoo before going home and the smell it may have didn’t register with him. Also, how would they put a pool there? Haru told him they should just have one really huge pool in the back instead. A really, really, really big pool in the back. Nagisa agreed and doodled it out. He’d have to expand on this at Rei’s house! Well there was the first “project” Rei had mentioned on the list…

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Rei sat down on his bed with a sigh, Nagisa flopping next to him. They were both tired from practice, but still had homework to do. Rei got them both water and then started on his own homework. Nagisa took to play some kind of handheld for a while before Rei lectured him. “Rei-chan’s such a meany…” He grumbled, but did his homework regardless.  
When they were done, Nagisa decided to stay up a little bit longer than Rei, playing his game some more. Rei set up Nagisa’s bed on the couch, also being reminded to go shopping for a futon for him over the weekend. He may have to take time out Sunday to do so… He’d also have to research costs… He put it on a to-do list for tomorrow and then went to bed, telling Nagisa not to stay up too late. “…I won’t.” He said, his tongue sticking out in concentration while he mashed buttons. Rei was stuck falling asleep with the little noises of button clicking and Nagisa’s mumblings about his game instead of his usual silence.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Everything was pretty much as it always had been. Aside from the fact that Nagisa was rooming with Rei, nothing had changed. Even now as they were shopping together for a futon for him, it was still mostly the same. Nagisa was still loud and boisterous, clinging to Rei and getting excited over everything while Rei constantly reminded him to calm down and relax and pay attention. “Nagisa-kun!” Rei yelled, finally getting slightly fed up. “If you don’t pick a futon-“

“Aw, come on, Rei-chan! I know you already did all the research and the budget checking and stuff, so why don’t you just pick it out and then we can go window shopping!” …True, he had but… He at least wanted to allow him to pick for himself out of the range he had made for him. If he didn’t want to, that was fine by him, but still… He was better off coming to buy it himself then. Rei picked out the futon he had his eye on for Nagisa. Nagisa dragged him around the rest of the store, cracking jokes about them being newlyweds and eyeing furniture with him.

The department store was huge and kept him entertained for hours- hours Rei hadn’t planned to waste here. Still, he should have expected the unexpected with Nagisa… Nagisa took a liking to a particular bed, laying all over the display. “N-Nagisa-kun!” Rei yelled, trying to remove him from it. Nagisa simply took him down with the ship. “Rei-chan, doesn’t it feel nice? Oooooh! Look at that one!” Nagisa let go of Rei and bounded over to another display bed.

Rei heard a cough from behind him. Oh no… He slowly turned around, his suspicion confirmed. It was a store clerk. He gave a nervous smile, climbing off of the bed and fixing the display, the nervous smile never leaving him until he ran to go find Nagisa. “Nagisa-kun! Get off of there! Get your shoes off of the bed, you’re dirtying it!”  
“Ahaha, woo! Rei-chan, you can jump so high on this bed! Ahahaha!”  
“Na-gi-sa-kun!” Rei yelled, grabbing his hands when they were close enough. Nagisa jumped once more, landing on his butt and sliding off, throwing his arms around Rei. “Ahehehe~! Reeeei~chan~!” Rei sighed, deciding right then and there to pull his rambunctious friend out of the store. He pulled him along to the front, giving the delivery information to the store for them to drop off the futon. Nagisa was still in a good mood, swinging Rei’s arm around like a child while he filled out the needed papers.

When they left, he sighed a sigh of relief. “…Nagisa-kun… Honestly, you take a lot out of a person…”  
“Aw, that’s not true! You’re just so uptight about lots of stuff! …Besides, you can’t say the king size bed wasn’t comfy~” He elbowed him for emphasis. “…Well… It _was_ kind of nice…” He admitted. “Ahehe~ See!” Rei mused about getting a room large enough to put a bed of that size in it, but only let it be a simple musing.  
Honestly in a more practical sense, it was too large for one person and would be such a pain to make the bed every day. Even if Nagisa were to invade the bed for whatever reason, he felt he could sprawl out as much as he wanted and still have a decent space all to himself. Still… He was right. It _was_ nice regardless of practicality.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Rei was going to kick him out- if he didn’t, he was going to murder him. “…Nagisa-kun… What… What are you doing?” Rei asked, his fingers twitching and his glasses slipping off of his nose. “I’m making a cake for Rei-chan! I haven’t properly thank you yet, so I thought I’d do that!” He replied over his shoulder, a sea of flour and cake batter and homemade frosting decorating Rei’s kitchen. “…You’re making me a cake…?” Rei asked, adjusting his glasses. Nagisa nodded. “Uh-huh!”

“…For me… With things from _my_ kitchen?” Nagisa groaned. “Rei-chan! You didn’t have _nearly_ enough flour or heavy cream or sugar, so I had to go buy a lot of this!” But he was practically saying if Rei did have it, he would have used it… He decided to leave the room to calm himself down. “…Please be sure to clean up this mess…”  
“Of course! Rei-chan would get mad at me otherwise- it’s one of the rules on the fridge!” Rei dragged himself away from the mess and into his room. Even if he were to try to concentrate on something else, the sight of the mess in his kitchen kept flashing before his eyes like a war veteran. He couldn’t concentrate on studying at all…

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Nagisa gently put a plate in front of him with a small cake on it. It was simple, the frosting white and adorned in three strawberries in the middle, but cute and read around the rim “thank you very much, Rei-chan!” in lopsided lettering. “I cleaned the kitchen.” Nagisa said, still giving him a calm smile, proud of himself and hoping Rei would enjoy the cake. In all honesty, Rei was expecting it to taste too sweet or have too much frosting… But when he took the fork to it and then the fork to his mouth, he found the frosting perfectly light- almost like something you’d find inside of an éclair- and the cake nice and spongy and not overly sweet at all.

“Is it okay?” Nagisa asked, quietly but desperately awaiting his opinion. “…It’s delicious, thank you.” Rei said, giving him a smile that displayed how happy he was with the sweet. Nagisa’s smile grew into his usual, wide, mischievous smile. “Yeeeeaaah! Rei-chan likes the cake!” Nagisa took the next bite off of the fork Rei had taken for himself. “Ah- Nagisa-kun!” He smiled, holding his cheeks. “It really is yummy~!” It was for Rei, but he was still stealing bites…  
Rei sighed and offered him some more, deciding to just share it with him instead. He didn’t mind- Nagisa liked sweets after all, regardless if he made it for him or not. However, Nagisa insisted that Rei eat all of the strawberries on top. He ignored him and fed him at least one. Nagisa pouted, but ate it regardless.

When Rei went into the kitchen to put the dish in the sink long ater Nagisa had went to bed and long after he had finished studying, the kitchen was exactly as he had left it this morning. He even checked and found all of the dishes in their correct spots. He smiled, proud of Nagisa, washing the dish and fork before putting it away and going to bed, Nagisa asleep in his futon next to Rei’s bed.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“…You know, even though it saves water, I don’t think we should bathe together.” Nagisa decided, the towel still on his head and his shirt somewhere in Rei’s room. “Heh? Is there something wrong? Did I do something?” Rei asked quickly, wanting to find out what the problem was. He himself was already completely dry and dressed. Nagisa laughed at him and shook his head. “No, no! I was just thinking that Rei-chan has no time to himself to do dirty things~” Nagisa cooed, leaning closer to him than one would feel comfortable with.

“Wha-“ Nagisa watched his face turn beat red and he laughed at him. “I mean, I sleep near Rei-chan’s bed and tend to be up pretty late sometimes, so Rei-chan never gets any time to himself is all! I hear it’s not good to be pent up like that.” Nagisa reminded, Rei still bright red. “Wha- N-N-Nagisa-kun! T-That’s not…!” Nagisa laughed at him again and draped his towel over Rei’s face while he ran into his room to get his shirt.  
“You don’t have to admit it if you don’t want to, but I think agreeing to this would be better than you having a weird dream and me hearing it or waking up and seeing or smelling your mess- don’t you think?” Rei’s face remained completely red while Nagisa kept talking, his brain imaging all of the scenarios for him against his will. “I… That… …Yes…” He eventually grumbled, Nagisa laughing at him and draping his arms over his shoulders, his shirt in his hands. “I promise I won’t try to listen if you get too loud~” He teased, a wide smirk playing on his features. “N-Nagisa-kun!” Nagisa laughed hysterically at him and let go.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“…Hey… Rei-chan…? You awake?” Nagisa asked, sitting up. “…Yes.” He was mostly asleep, but… “…What would you do if I liked boys?” …What? Rei adjusted himself so he could look in Nagisa’s direction as he spoke. “What do you mean?” He asked, a confused smile on his features. “…I mean… We’re on the same swim team and I’m living with you right now… And I guess I wanted to know if it would make you uncomfortable is all…”

“Well you keep saying “if” and being implicational about it… Do you?” Rei watched in the dark as Nagisa pulled his knees close to his chest. “I… I don’t know… I don’t think I wanna know… Because I’m scared… I’m scared that things’ll change and I don’t want that… I want Rei-chan and Haru-chan and Mako-chan and Gou-chan to treat me the same way they always have… And I’m scared that if I do something’ll be different… I like things as they are right now… Yeah, they could be better with my parents but… With all of you, right now I just… I don’t want anything to change… Next year Haru-chan and Mako-chan won’t be here with us… And then we’ll be third years and… And I’m so scared…”

Nagisa shook his head, burying it into his knees. “I’m scared that if something about me changes now, everything else is going to seem to happen a lot faster and I just… I…” Nagisa felt Rei rub his back gently. “Rei-chan… I’m… I’m really, really scared!” He spoke to him, turning to face him completely instead of having his back pressed against Rei’s bed. Rei sighed and gently pulled him up onto his bed. Nagisa crawled up into his bed and cried into his shirt.

“…Nagisa-kun will always be Nagisa-kun to me. Whatever you decided to like won’t change how I view you. I mean, I’d have my own personal little concerns about a few things, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with time. Just promise if you do go getting a boyfriend that he’s not really huge and scary or something. I don’t know if I could handle that.” He said with a laugh, still trying to calm him down. He felt Nagisa grip his shirt tighter. “…Nagisa-kun?”

“…I’m scared to tell Rei-chan if I do or don’t like boys because if I do that means that I… That I like Rei-chan… And I don’t want you to kick me out because you feel uncomfortable with me living with you…” So that was what he meant. That would also explain why he didn’t want to bathe with him anymore, including or not the first reason he had given him. “…It’s okay. I don’t think I like you in that way, but I do still like you regardless and I’d be willing to see if it would work. Nothing is improbable after all.”

Nagisa sniffed and sat up a bit. “…Really? You know I honestly thought Rei-chan was going to say something like “it’s only supposed to be a man and a woman together!” or something like that…” Rei sat up as well, sighing a bit. “…Well… Honestly, for a long time I _did_ think like that. It probably wasn’t until that incident with your parents did I start considering things like that being “normal” so to speak. I had so many odd thoughts and mixed emotions and the research I was doing only seemed to make it worse, but… In the long run, I realized I only wanted those I cared about to be happy with whomever they were with. It wasn’t my place to decide whether or not it was “right” or not. So long as they were happy and being treated well, it shouldn’t matter who Nagisa-kun decides he wants to love. And if it’s me, I guess that’s okay… Although I guess my issue is love in general doesn’t seem to go well with me.” He laughed a bit.

“…Rei-chan…” Nagisa stared at him with wide eyes, shocked by this. He had looked into things like that because of him? Nagisa had impacted him that much? He shook his head, grabbing Rei’s hands. “Rei-chan is wonderful! Anyone who doesn’t fall for Rei-chan after getting to know him is an idiot! Same for Haru-chan and Mako-chan and Gou-chan! You all have these wonderful personalities and are all really kind people! I love how Rei-chan is also really diligent and tries his hardest at everything he does and is dedicated and is very open minded about so many things! I really, really like Rei-chan!” Was that… a confession?

He laughed a bit, thankful for the compliments. He gently mused his hair. “Thank you very much. The same can be said about you. You also have a wonderful personality and you always try your best make sure those around you are happy as often as possible. I honestly don’t understand how people could reject you regardless of your personal interests.” He was talking about his parents… He didn’t know if Nagisa caught that or not because he quickly buried himself into his shirt again. “Ahe~ Rei-chan is the best!”

He cuddled into him for a while before wondering if he was intruding in his bed… “Rei-chan?” When he didn’t get a reply, he looked up and found him sleeping. He was comfortable enough with him to fall asleep? Even though he had indirectly told him he liked him? He smiled, removing himself from Rei’s bed. He made sure he was covered completely before crawling back into his own bed. “…Good night.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It was evident that Nagisa was living with Rei. His things had slowly started to creep into Rei’s, eventually just becoming an organized mix of both of their things. It had seemed so natural. Without even realizing it, Rei had shared closet space with Nagisa, gotten a larger dresser for them to share, was putting his favorite snacks into his fridge, was letting him leave his chargers for his games and phone plugged in throughout the house… And it felt so normal. He didn’t even realize how much Nagisa had invaded his space until his mother came over to make sure everything was clean and that he was eating properly.

“…Huh? Rei? Who’s shirt is this in your laundry?” He looked over his shoulder, noticing the small, cheery colored article of clothing. “Uh, that’s Nagisa-kun’s shirt. He’s staying here for a while… I thought I told you, I’m sorry.” She hummed to herself, finishing his laundry.  She then took note of other little things; the notice on the fridge, the placement of his things, the seemingly random salamander, it’s food, the amount of sweets in the fridge…  
“How long has he been here for?” She asked, curiously. “…About two months now.” He realized, not noticing how long it had been. It had seemed so normal in retrospect… “Two months? That’s an awfully long time, don’t you think?” She offered the thought to him. “Er, well… He had some problems at home so…” She was quiet for a moment. “…You know, in that apartment complex down the street, one of them is for rent. He could stay there.” She offered. “I’m sure your father wouldn’t mind helping him out for a little bit, and even if he did he’d only have to pay him back is all. So regardless, he’d still pay for your friend.” Rei considered it while his mother continued on his apartment.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“…Rei-chan’s… kicking me out?” Nagisa asked, his heart dropping to the floor. “N-No, no! I just figured you may want your own space after all, so the apartment not too far from here is for rent, so…”  
“B-But you said I could stay! You said I could stay so long as I got good grades! I’ve been passing everything- 70’s or higher! Honest! Look, I even got a test back today to prove it!” He said, quickly rummaging through his bag. “See! See! So, you can’t kick me out! You said I could stay!”

“…Nagisa-kun…” He looked like he was about to cry… “It’s what I said the other day isn’t it…? That I like Rei-chan…” He asked, lowering the paper after realizing that. “What? No, no!” Nagisa shot up off of the couch. “Then why else would you try to get rid of me! I make you uncomfortable, don’t I?! I knew it…! Fine, if Rei-chan wants me gone that badly, consider me gone!”

“N-Nagisa-kun!” Rei called after him, his friend storming out of his apartment and slamming the door. Should he just leave him? Or go after him? He wasn’t trying to “kick him out”… He just got the idea into his head that Nagisa may want his own place after staying here for so long… He’d be close by, so…

_“…I’m scared that things’ll change and I don’t want that… I want Rei-chan and Haru-chan and Mako-chan and Gou-chan to treat me the same way they always have… And I’m scared that if I do something’ll be different… I like things as they are right now… Yeah, they could be better with my parents but… With all of you, right now I just… I don’t want anything to change… Next year Haru-chan and Mako-chan won’t be here with us… And then we’ll be third years and… And I’m so scared…”_

_Nagisa shook his head, burying it into his knees. “I’m scared that if something about me changes now, everything else is going to seem to happen a lot faster and I just… I…”_

Oh no… What had he just done?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A NEET is an acronym for someone who is Not in Education, Employment, or Training.


	3. Growing Up is Terrifying

Rei knew how Nagisa could get. His emotions would get the best of him and nothing you’d say would matter one single bit. He decided he’d let him cool off for now… He called Haru and Makoto, letting them know in case he went to one of their houses. He’d hate for him not to come home and be terrified of that fact that something could have happened when he simply went to Makoto or Haru’s house…

Sure enough, when it started getting dark, Haru gave him a quick call, saying he was at Makoto’s- whom he begged not to call Rei, so he was doing it instead via a conniving text he had received from his best friend. The fact that Makoto was capable of something so casually devious scared Rei for a moment before he was overtaken with relief about Nagisa. He decided to leave it at that for now, knowing he’d come back for his things at some point or another or even come back in general.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

…All of his things were gone. They had went to school, Makoto said Nagisa didn’t feel well enough to go, so he let him stay at his house and by the time Rei came back… All of his things were gone. He checked every room, every drawer, every hanger… He instantly grabbed for his phone, dialing his number before he noticed something on the fridge. The list of living rules was taken down and written on the white board was a simple “Sorry for imposing” in familiar handwriting.

That wasn’t what he meant! Honestly! How contradictory they were! Rei was obsessed with thoughts and the algorithms in one’s head while Nagisa was  quick to jump to matters of the heart. Rei attempted to be cautious about how he spoke while Nagisa let every little thing fumble out of his mouth at one point or another. Maybe that was his mistake… He was so worried and calculated that he forgot to consider Nagisa’s reaction to things.  
In theory, they would have simply had a talk about it, if Nagisa didn’t want to go, he wouldn’t have to, and that would be the end of it. However, he had interjected before Rei could finish with his own devastated feelings and left before Rei could finish. He called him and got no reply. He called Makoto, and to his relief, Nagisa was pouting in their guest room with all of his things. Rei told him he’d be right over.

…He called Makoto back to tell him to not tell Nagisa he was coming.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

There was a quiet knock on the door. “…Nagisa? Listen, I know you’re mad at Rei, but… I think he wants to apologize, so won’t you try to answer the phone? If not he’ll come over to ask us and you know it.” Makoto logically spoke to the door. “…Then I’ll go somewhere else… I don’t… I don’t want to talk to him right now!” After all, he was still… Was still trying to get his head around the whole situation. It honestly would have been so much easier just to ask Rei if his confession made him uncomfortable, but regardless if it had or not…

He was honestly considering trying to move into that apartment Rei had mentioned. They would still be near to one another that way… He could still bother him and come over a lot more often than normal, but Rei could still keep his own space and Nagisa could learn how to manage his own… He could ask his sisters to borrow some money until he could pay them back for the first few months’ rent or something… Being a waiter supposedly got you more money than in retail- or maybe he could secretly work a host job or something… He was charismatic enough for it. Maybe even drop out of high school so he could-

While Nagisa was buried deep in his thoughts, there was another knock on the door. And another… “Mako-chan…! I don’t wanna talk right no-“ Nagisa had turned to look at the door, it open and the knock being from Rei. He instantly flared up and threw a pillow from the bed at him. “Go, away, I don’t want to talk right now! And how could you be so mean as to tell Rei-chan I was here! That’s so mean!” He yelled past him to Makoto- wherever he was in the house. Rei caught the pillow before it hit his glasses. “…Nagisa… Listen-“  
“No! Go away! I’m not ready yet! I’m still thinking!” He yelled at him, completely embarrassed Rei had hunted him down. Couldn’t he just leave it at that for a while? Wait for him to go to school? Rei quietly shut the door and approached him like he was a wounded animal; cautiously and showing he meant no harm.

He remained quiet for a moment, just standing there. “…You know, sometimes… Saying your thoughts out loud helps you manage through them or see faults in your logic.” He offered. Nagisa looked at him and noted he didn’t say “sharing” or prompt him to talk to him. He could play along… He wasn’t exactly mad at Rei- he was just hurt… “…It’s really hard… Trying to grow up… You have to rely on yourself a lot more and you don’t get to see your friends as much because you’re always working or at school or studying and it sucks…! I love my friends more than anything, so I don’t want to lose a single moment of time with them…!”

He yelled into his knees. Even as he said that, he had avoided Rei today… “I don’t wanna have to grow up and get a stupid boring adult job somewhere that I’m not going to like because that’s all the adults ever say! “You’re never going to get to do what you want” or “you think I _wanted_ this job?” They settle for things that don’t really make them happy and I don’t want to grow up and have to settle for things! I want to be able to have tons of jobs that make me happy and be surrounded by people I love! Is that so much to ask for?!” He yelled, finally looking up at Rei with teary eyes.

“Mako-chan and Haru-chan are either gonna go to college or get jobs or something and we’ll still be stuck a year behind them… They’ll get their own houses and their own lives that don’t include us in all of it and… And that scares me…! It scares me that that’ll happen to me to! That I’ll go to work without any of you or not be able to talk to all of you every day or have to live by myself! I don’t want that…!” He buried his face back into his knees. “I’d do any kind of stupid job anywhere so long as I got to see Mako-chan and Haru-chan and Rei-chan and Gou-kun every day! I just want… I want…” He started crying so hard that he couldn’t talk anymore.

Rei sat down next to him and rubbed his back. “I know… Growing up is terrifying… Isn’t it? Being told it’s all work and no play anymore… Potentially getting stuck in some place in your life that doesn’t make you happy at all… You’ve been thinking about that a lot, huh?” He kept rubbing his back, Nagisa sobbing all over his arm while he clung to him. “From what I get from what you’re saying… You just want your friends to be there because we make you the happiest out of anything. You’re just scared of losing us when we grow up…” Nagisa nodded furiously into Rei’s arm while whimpering.

“…I can’t make empty promises and say something like “we’ll always be together” or “you won’t have to worry about any distance being put between us” or something like that, because that’s not true… Eventually, Makoto-sempai and Haruka-sempai are going to go away. We can’t stop that… But that doesn’t mean that their gone forever. It doesn’t mean because we can’t see them every single day that we’ve lost them. It just means we have to put in more effort into making sure we _do_ see them. It just means we have to call them more often to make sure that the lunch we planned all together for this weekend is still on. It just means we’ll have more to talk about when we meet up and new people that they’ve have entered their lives for them to introduce us to. That’ll happen for us too…”

“…It’s just part of growing up. It’s okay to be scared of that…” Nagisa sniffed and looked up at Rei. He smiled at him, and it was kind of pained… Like he understood how scared he was. “R… Rei-chan…” He choked out. “Regardless of how things work out, it’ll be okay and I’ll always be here for you if you need me- whether you end up half way around the world or right next door.” Nagisa’s eyes welled up even though he felt so much better… He felt so much lighter. He clung to Rei fully, burying his face into his shirt and sobbing hysterically.

Rei sighed and patted his head.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “So… Everything is okay?” Makoto asked. Nagisa’s eyes were still red, but he nodded. “I’m gonna stay here for the night and then go back to Rei-chan’s if that’s okay…” Makoto nodded. “Of course.” Rei came down soon after with some of Nagisa’s bags that he would take back to his house. “I’m sorry about all of this…” He said with a deep bow. Makoto laughed at him a bit and shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize. He’s my friend too after all. Besides, I told you that if you were having any problems it was okay for him to come over here, wasn’t it?” Rei nodded, a bit embarrassed. Makoto smiled again, glad they were able to work things out.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “B-But…! Like I said, it was only a suggestion. You don’t have t-“  
“I know… But… I want to.” Nagisa said, his mind set on it. “…Are you sure…?” Nagisa nodded. “Yup! I don’t want to bother you anymore. I want to live in my own place. Besides, I’ll just be down the hall.” He said with a wide smile. He had decided that he wanted the empty apartment Rei had mentioned. He liked living with Rei- loved it in fact… But he wanted to try it- growing up. It was terrifying… But it would be an awfully big adventure. “I’ll stay here for a little bit longer until I can get a job to help me pay for rent and stuff- and I want you to help me make budgets for things and tell me how much stuff costs here, but… I wanna do it.” He said, giving him a wide smile.

Rei looked at him, shocked, but with a single sigh it melted into a smile. “…Alright. We can do it now if you want.” He still had to study, but this… This was more important. Nagisa nodded enthusiastically. Rei got out some paper. He wrote down things like utilities and rent and explained each one. He had Nagisa make a grocery list and helped him modify it. He told him where to shop for cheaper foods, but ones of good quality. He recommended a couple of books- he would let him borrow them actually so he wouldn’t have to buy them unless he wanted to. They went on like this for several hours, Nagisa paying close attention to everything Rei was saying and taking it all in.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Nagisa groaned and buried his face in Rei’s shoulder. “Reiii-chaaaaannn…” He whined. “You get rejected from another job again?” Nagisa slipped down to the floor, clinging to his leg while Rei worked on the assignment in front of him. “It’s so haaaaaaarrrdd…” He had tried to get a job as a waiter- however so far, places either weren’t hiring or they told him to wait until a later date or he simply didn’t nail the interview… It sucked. “Did you try calling that one place back?”

“Yes!” He yelled up at him, angry he would doubt him. Rei chuckled. “Hard, isn’t it?”  
“You cheat, you’re a tutor!” He yelled at him. “I’m not a cheat- I’m just good at it and always have been, therefore it makes me an optimal choice. …You know, instead of trying to get a waitressing job or concentrating on jobs that pay higher wages, why not look for something you’d enjoy? Even if it isn’t as much, if you enjoy it, it’s worth it.”

“B-But…! If I don’t make enough money, they I won’t be able to pay for everything! And, and…!” Rei laughed at him, patting his head. “It’s alright. It just means you’ll have to work a bit more. I know you can manage it- you’re always full of such boundless energy after all.” Nagisa grumbled something into his knee before getting up and working on his homework.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “REIIIIIIIII~CHAAAAAAAAAN~!” Nagisa yelled, coming late to practice. Everyone had wondered where he had disappeared to after class… He attacked him, clinging to him like a koala and forcing them both into the pool. Rei flailed and splashed, trying to get his bearings while Nagisa still clung to him, a wide smile on his face. “N-Nagisa-kun! Your clothes, your clothes!” He reminded. “It’s okay, it’s okay! Guess what?! Guess, guess!” Nagisa yelled, full of enthusiasm and excitement. “If I guess will you let go?” He yelled. Makoto tried not to laugh at the display while Haru simply got in after them.

“I got hired at a sweets shop! They said because I came there so often I basically knew the entire menu by heart already and since I liked sweets so much I would be able to make recommendations to customers and stuff!” He said, still clinging to him. “So you got a job? That’s wonderful!” Makoto praised from the edge of the pool. Nagisa let go in favor of clinging to the edge of the pool instead, a wide grin on his face. “Uh-huh! I’m really excited!”

Makoto laughed at him. “I’ve noticed. But what are you going to go home in?” He asked. It was then that Nagisa realized what Rei had been trying to tell him from the start. “…Ah… My gym clothes I guess.” He said with a laugh. It was all he had that was dry. Thank goodness it wasn’t too cold out. Rei sighed at his own neglectfulness, but was happy for him all the same.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “…Well, that’s everything…” Rei said, looking at all of Nagisa’s things in his new apartment. His own felt quite a bit empty now without him… Still, part of him was expecting Nagisa to come over whenever he pleased anyways and leave things there constantly since he was just down the hall. Still… He was sad he wouldn’t have him so close anymore. “Un-hn. Are you sure it’s okay I keep the futon?” He asked again as he went over and sat on a box of his things. “Of course! We bought it for you after all.” Nagisa looked down into his lap and smiled a bit, the feeling of happiness so predominant it was embarrassing.

It was quiet for a moment, Nagisa reveling in the feeling in his chest while Rei quietly grew awkward without knowing what else to say. “…You know my sisters are going to come over the day after tomorrow. I really hope I can get everything unpacked by then. Oh my oldest sis is also going to bring the things I couldn’t take with me to your house, too!” Nagisa said with a wide grin directed at Rei.  
“Oh well that’s good.” Nagisa nodded.

“…I also invited my parents… I mean I’d understand if they don’t come, but I still love them a lot and I know I won’t be able to keep from feeling hurt if they don’t…” Rei went to go sit down next to him, then decided against it and kneeled down in front of him. He gently placed his hand on Nagisa’s, giving him a kind of apologetic smile. “I know… And if you feel like crying, I’m right down the hall.” Nagisa looked up at Rei, his eyes already a bit watery just thinking about it. He put his forehead on Rei’s shoulder, mumbling, “…Thank you…” Rei kept the apologetic smile on his face, but it slightly changed into a kind of a pitying smile. He removed one of his hands from Nagisa’s hand put it on his head, burying his fingers in his fluffy blonde hair.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “Reeeeeeeeei~chaaaaaaan~!” Nagisa called from a window. Rei sighed and opened the window in the opposing building. Nagisa gave him a wide grin. “I’ve always wanted to do this- it’s like in all of those romance manga! Best friends living next door to one another and then one day they become super romantic~!” Nagisa cooed from the other window. Rei knew exactly what he was talking about, but refused to acknowledge that fact. “…So do you like the house over there?” He asked. Nagisa nodded feverishly. “Yes! Very much! …But I wanna see Rei-chan’s too!” He said, climbing into the window.

“N-NAGISA-KUN!” Rei yelled, terrified he would fall though the small gap between each window below and die. Nagisa stuck his tongue out in concentration as he climbed from window to window. He slipped coming into Rei’s window, but the terrified megane caught him. “You could have died!” He lectured. Nagisa chuckled at him, a semi-apologetic grin on his face. “Nuh-uh! Rei-chan would have totally caught me!” He said, placing his hands on Rei’s arms that were still tightly clinging to him. He flushed and let go, Nagisa still chuckling about his embarrassment.

“…Wa… This room is bigger than the one over there. What’s the kitchen like?” Nagisa asked, leaving the empty room for the hallway. Rei glanced over to the window, thinking about how the woman who had been showing Nagisa around the house would have wondered where the hell he went… Rei sighed and followed after him to make sure he was alright. They were house shopping- it was Nagisa’s idea. They were going to start their third year of college, Rei for biology, Nagisa for piloting. He said even if they don’t actually buy a house now, it would still be something nice to do. “We’re basically adults now!” Is what he had said…

Nagisa was inspecting the kitchen, his fingers forming a picture frame. Rei assumed he was picturing where all of their things were going to go. He had picked up baking for himself their first year of college via a female classmate whom he had gotten along with. Just last week they had traded homemade sweets again, both gushing over the other’s dessert. Rei could see them being friends for a long while… “…Hey, what time is it? We have lunch with Mako-chan and Haru-chan and Gou-chan and Rin-chan after this, right?” Rei nodded. There were a few extras coming- like Sosuke, Nitori, and Gou’s surprise boyfriend, but that was the general gist of the people coming. Rei checked his wrist watch and relayed the time, both of them still having a good hour before even remotely having to leave for their destination.

Nagisa dragged Rei around the rest of the house, enjoying it quite a bit. They eventually ended up back in the bedroom because Nagisa had to crawl back into the other house. “Nagisa-kun, please be careful.” Rei worried while he climbed up onto the balcony, his hands hovered around him in case he slipped. “Hm…? Oh! I almost forgot! I wanted to do this!” Nagisa realized once he was back over. “Rei-chan- lean over the balcony for a sec?” Nagisa asked, leaning over as well. “Hm? If you plan to pull me in there-!” Nagisa laughed at him, waving a hand in front of his face. “No, no! I promise!” He crossed his heart with an x.

Rei was still skeptical, but did as he asked. Nagisa asked him to lean just a bit closer- a little more… He leaned a bit closer himself and kissed him. “N-Nagisa-kun!” Rei yelped, jumping back into the house he was in. Nagisa smiled and laughed a little at him. “Rei-chan looks the best right after a kiss~” Nagisa teased, humming to himself as he went back into the house he was looking at. Rei continued to flush while he went to go find the man who had allowed him to roam the house. He had been showing another couple around, letting Rei do as he pleased (without knowing of Nagisa of course- he had found it fun, like a spy game).

Rei placed his hand over his mouth, walking down the stairs. He adjusted his glasses and tried to calm his flush. Nagisa was in a wonderful mood, and told the tour guide of the house he was in all the things he loved about it before she could even ask where he had disappeared to. He said he’d consider it and bounded out of the house, meeting Rei outside of the other house. “Ready to go?” He asked, a wide smile on his face. Rei was still a bit flustered while looking at him, but nodded. Nagisa quickly clung to his arm, pulling him along. “Hey since we still have time, do you wanna go window shopping?” He offered.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・Free! ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

 “…And then he ended up getting sick because he had refused to get out of the tub and close the window.” Makoto said with a laugh, Haru sinking down in his chair a bit out of embarrassment. Nagisa laughed at him. “That sounds like Haru-chan!”  
“You know I sometimes wonder if Haru’s body is composed of more water than any normal person’s…” Rin mused. “I wouldn’t doubt it.” Sosuke added, still picking at him a bit. After all, even now Haru was a swimming instructor at their old swimming club. Makoto’s phone vibrated and he checked it with a sigh. Haru didn’t even have to glance over his shoulder to know what it was. “…Work again?” He quickly put his phone away, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Honestly, I don’t know what the point of me requesting days off is for if they’re just going to ask me to help out with things…”

“You know I honestly was really curious as to what you would end up doing. I talked with big bro about it one day and we could see you doing things from running a day care to working in a company as a subordinate.” Gou added, her arms wrapped around Momo’s. He had bothered her so much that she had eventually given him a chance, finding him rather entertaining and cute, so she gave him another date… And another… And here they were. His brother was still pissed about this, but it was his own fault for not being as adamant about getting a date with her like Momo had.

“I guess his current job suits him too, though… Makoto-san is just versatile like that.” Rei said. He had been asked to drop the “sempai” once they had all went to college by both Haru and Makoto. “Still… He does do a lot of the paperwork part.” Haru mumbled, knowing what the text was. If the fire department had an emergency, they wouldn’t be _texting_ him for help. “Hey, Ai, let me have some of that?” Rin asked, pointing to his plate. “Huh? Oh, yeah, sure!”

“Momo, say “ahhh”~” Gou cooed, offering him some of her food. He quickly lit up and opened his mouth like an obedient dog. “Ahhh~!” Rin noticed and turned his lip up a bit at the display. “So why were you two late?” Makoto asked, turning his attention to Rei and Nagisa. “Oh!” Nagisa clapped his hands together. “We were house shopping and then went window shopping at the cute department store!” He said, a wide grin on his face. “There’s actually this really nice kitchen set on sale that I want, but I totally don’t have enough money to spare for it right now, I’m so upset!” He wined, his cheeks puffing up.

Makoto smiled, casting a glance over at Rei, who quickly averted his eyes. He knew Rei was going to buy it for him and save it as a present for some special event. He had noticed a few little things that had changed between them, but if they didn’t want to talk, that was fine. They were still his friends. After all, even right now he was sure both of their “unoccupied” hands were being held by the other’s under the table. Still… He wasn’t one to try to call them out on it… He put his phone back in his pocket but his hand didn’t come up either… It was weird eating with his left hand.

The rest of their lunch went on as such, each telling about things the other missed and so on. They all got up and walked to an ice cream parlor for dessert as it got a bit later, no one really wanting to leave yet. However, mid dessert, Rin and Sosuke had to leave for work, much to Gou and Nagisa’s protest. Makoto understood what that was like to be on an on-call job, so he saw them off with Haru before coming back and finishing with everyone else. Everyone walked to the train station together, Makoto lagging behind and taking Nagisa with him. Both Haru and Rei noticed, but pretended not to and kept Gou, Nitori, and Momo distracted while the pair talked.

“So, Nagisa… How are you doing?” Makoto asked him. Nagisa was quiet for a moment. “…I’m okay… My parents actually called me not too long ago.” Makoto’s eyes grew wide. “…Really?” Nagisa nodded. “Yeah… They asked me if I was going to go on our annual winter trip later in the year since I had missed a few… They didn’t want me to bring Rei, so I told them I wasn’t going to go, but I’d see them off at least.” Between both Nagisa and Makoto, both had implied things about their relationships with their friends, but both kept it between them. “I see… At least it’s progress.” They were both was quiet as they walked, listening to the conversations ahead for a moment.

“…I’m… I’m actually really glad. Mostly for my sisters- without them, I don’t know if they’d be talking to me so soon. And even though they weren’t talking to me, my sisters would still tell me mom and dad asked how I was when they would mention they talked to me… I know they’re not proud of some of my personal choices and I know it kind of embarrasses them, but… They’re _my_ choices. I’m not going to take them back- after all... I’m happy with them.” Nagisa spoke and couldn’t take his eyes off of Rei, who was being picked on by Momo and Gou. Rei was one of his choices… And he adored him more than anything, even from the moment he had first met him.

“…You know, I wonder if that’s just an “us” thing, or if it’s like some kind of blessing or curse thing from our high school’s pool.” Nagisa said with a laugh. “What?” Makoto asked, not following. “I mean, you ended up with Haru and I ended up with Rei… Maybe some guys before us didn’t exactly like things like that so they stopped swimming.” Nagisa said with a laugh. Makoto chuckled at the thought of a senior before them being confessed to by another teammate.  
“It could be… But either way, I liked how it worked out. You and Rei are really good for one another in my opinion. He’s very grounded and you’re very eccentric. You even one another out. It’s nice to see you be serious enough about something that it’s obvious for even other people who don’t know you very well to notice… And likewise it’s also nice to see him enjoying himself and not taking everything so seriously.” He didn’t verbally mention it, but he was also glad that Rei was the one who Nagisa had went to for help. It had worked out for the best for him because he had went to Rei.

Nagisa chuckled. “Yeah. I like when he’s like that too… So you mentioned you moved?” Nagisa asked, changing the subject a bit. “Yup. A two bedroom with Haru.” Makoto replied simply. “Hmmm… Why not just get a one room?” Makoto was silent for a long time. “…We had bought a really big aquarium and didn’t have room for it anywhere else but in the other bedroom.” Nagisa burst out laughing. That was so like them. Haru would want it and Makoto wouldn’t be able to deny him. He was sure there were a few more technicalities to that, but…  
“So is that Haru’s room, or~…?” Nagisa cooed. “…That’s for us to know and for you to try to figure out if you ever show up uninvited.” Makoto said with a smile. Nagisa chuckled. “Okay. It’s a date then~!” He decided. “Well then I look forward to it.” Makoto said. “But I think we should put it off until you and Rei get your own place so it’s fair, don’t you think?” He offered. Nagisa chuckled, his face tinting pink just a little. Just the thought of living with Rei got him so excited he didn’t know what do to. “Okay. Deal!”

“Hey! You two gonna stay back there forever or come up here with everyone else?” Gou called to them. They had really lagged behind a bit more than they meant to. “Ah- sorry!” Makoto called while Nagisa had already ran ahead to tackle Rei. Makoto jogged to catch up as well, Gou giving him a smile when he was back with the group. She briefly looked over at Nagisa and Makoto smiled at her. “…He’s okay.” She sighed a bit, a smile gracing her features. Everyone did worry from time to time about him… Everyone adored him after all. They’d hate to see his smile ever disappear- it was his most predominate feature after all.

“Hey, hey! Rei-chan! What are we gonna eat for dinner?”  
“Are you kidding me, we just ate! It’s not even that late!”  
“But I wanna knooooow! Do we need to go shopping for food for dinner at all, actually?”  
“I don’t know- we have to decide on something and see what we have…”  
“I probably need to go food shopping anyways. I’m out of the basics!”  
“Why didn’t you mention this before they were all gone?!”  
“Ahehe~ You know you won’t be able to stay mad at me anyways~ Think of it like a date!”  
“Everything is a date with you!” Nagisa leaned close to Rei’s ear, whispering,  “…And isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? I love Rei-chan so much that I want everything to be a memorable date with you.” Rei flushed furiously and Nagisa smiled contentedly to himself while still clinging to Rei.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was honestly going to have Nagisa live with Rei after their little spat, but I decided against it. This just seemed… To fit better. I didn’t know exactly where to put it, but Rei and Nagisa are still living in their own respective apartments, but are in the other’s apartment so often that they may as well live together anyways. lol
> 
> I started this fic out as a something about having to deal with “those” kinds of parents who don’t approve of your romantic interests, and then I kind ended up expanding on it more than I originally intended to… It’s not like it’s a bad thing though, haha. It actually kind of gives me this kind of melancholic happiness thinking about it. Things change… And that’s okay. Things also do get better, and if they don’t then you simply adjust in how you deal with them. Things also do get harder… But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself at all. It’s why I love Nagisa so much- he does all he can to fiercely love everything he enjoys and puts his all into it.


End file.
